matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
