Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
