he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
