He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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