You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
