i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
