Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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