meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
In other news, I just burned my penis
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
