what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
