I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
