Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
