Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
