I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
