i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
