if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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