the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Mom said you looked used
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
