So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
