You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
