There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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