Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
