proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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