the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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