i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
