Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
