Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
