I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
