Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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