I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
