Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
