nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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