oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Randomize
