i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
"it" just moved
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
