nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
