i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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