dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize