the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
