Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize