The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
