Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
