her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
