I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
