Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
