It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
3pm strippers are depressing
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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