4 words: hood of his car
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
