I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize