I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
