I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
