cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
