Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
