I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
