i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize