No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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