she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize