idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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