i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
