you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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