I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
They should really pass out barf bags in church
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
