Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
