i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize