Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We have started to decorate penises.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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