so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
