Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize