i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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