I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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