And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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